How NOT to Walk On A Treadmill

1. Break the clip that connects the "Emergency Stop" safety cord to your body.
2. Back the treadmill up to within ½" of the mirrored sliding closet
doors. (make sure they're closed behind you!)
3. Turn on the TV, so you can watch it while treadmilling.
4. Get the latest issue of "More" so you can read during the commercials on TV.
5. Start the treadmill and start walking.
6. Call your daughter.
7. Without stopping the traddmill, step off and get a package of
Low-Carb, Atkins Approved peanut butter cups.
8. Get a pair of scissors to cut off the end of the peanut butter cup wrapper.
9. Get back on the treadmill.
10. Put the phone under your cheek (so you have both hands free) and
while walking, talking, and watching (Oprah), cut the end off the
peanut butter cup package.

Guess what happens next!